Friday, May 31, 2013

Midnight musings...

It's weird the thoughts that run through my mind when I can't sleep.  Since I can't, I thought I'd share:
  • It's been a week.  I mean A WEEK.  It's quite late for me, but I can't sleep.    
  • It's quiet-ish in the house at this time of night, but not total silence.  I can hear my husband snoring and the cat psuedo-snoring.  The dog is dreaming and must be running because her legs are twitching and her tags are jingling.
  • I woke up the night of the awful-ness, possibly because I heard something, but at the time I didn't hear anything else and thought I must have been dreaming.  But, in the nights since, I'm struggling to go to sleep.  I feel guilty.  The chickens were in our care and it is beyond upsetting.  Guilt is among the worst, most destructive emotions.  
  • I have a new mop.  I'm working on a post about it, but who knows when that'll be published.
  • We have the loveliest, best tasting water fresh from our tap.  We have a spring fed well and the water is delicious.
  • I really can't find any clarity about the situation with the chickens.  As you can tell by the mish-mash and incoherent thoughts I've managed to put into this post.  
  • They were our chickens and my heart is aching.  Little Jill, a tiny little Old English Bantam would run over to say hi every time I came out the back door.  I will miss that.
  • I love my new wedding band!  It's beautiful and meaningful and feels good.
  • When I'm upset, my face breaks out.  Which, given the fact that I will be turning 50 this year, is really quite annoying.  I'm well past the age of breakouts, dog gone it.
  • Clearly I'm not really a farmer, since I name my chickens and cry at their passing.  
  • I planted some really fun gourds this week.  I hope they grow like crazy!  I've always wanted to try turning the dried gourds into something beautiful and artsy.
  • I started making a new nightgown tonight from a sheet.  I have a pattern I made some time ago and I use the serger to finish all the edges, which I leave exposed.  More on this later, after I have it finished, and can post picutres.
  • I know that time will heal and eventually I will be able to set down the guilt.  It's not helpful or healthy to hold on to such destructive feelings.  I know this and I'm figuring out how to handle it.  I just need a little time. 
Well this post has worked it's magic.  I've had three yawns in a row, so it must be time for bed.  

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Thank you for sharing your kind thoughts!