Saturday, October 15, 2011
15 days ago I fell and broke my right arm. it has been a whirlwind of pain, doctors, surgery, pain and splints. Not to mention humiliation, shock, embarrassment, fear and worry. There has also been love, support, care, laughter, growth, and love. With surgery behind me I am on the physical therapy train to regain full mobility. its shocking how little movement I had in my wrist after just 12 days. Now the physical therapy is bringing a whole new kind of pain to the whirlwind. This post sounds quite negative and I suppose I feel down. its tough to maintain any kind of elation when your major accomplishment of the day is to unscrew the top of a diet coke bottle - which two days before I could not because I also lost the ability to grip with my right hand. But two days of PT and I am able to grip enough that the lid came off. Did I mention I'm right handed? Yep. between the pain, physical therapy, meds and general discomfort my sleep pattern is totally disrupted, which no doubt accounts for some of the negativity. I am working on it, but every action is slower, more awkward and quite often painful. My creative outlets are gone for now as my arm limits actions. Writing is incredibly painful with my right hand and so slow and illegible with my left as to be more frustrating than beneficial. I have the attention span of a gnat. All of which add up to a less than sunny attitude. Good news is that I've had quite a bit of time to contemplate my life and spiritual journey. Obviously the Universe was trying to get my attention. Well that worked. I am paying attention. I know that I have to get my mental state right before my physical state can ever be right. I realize I've been saying one thing but thinking the opposite. And I also realize that when you know better you do better. I am knowing better and therefore will be doing better. I am going to try knitting today which I think will work as the funky way I knit leaves my right hand fairly stationary. Believe it or not... I am grateful for this situation as it underscored what is important to me and to my happiness. I am also grateful for the growth, the reflection and the love.