Saturday, October 29, 2011
yes, it is the center of my attention these days. i'm just getting tired of it. hope to soon be writing about something else. this past week has been a series of highs and lows. highs definitely come from being able to complete a task i haven't since the accident, due to lack of mobility or strength. though i'm not to lift, push or pull with my right arm, i am supposed to use it and exercise it. being able to open the car doors with the key fob was a biggie. sounds silly, but it takes both strength and agility to get the thumb in the correct position and push the button. getting my arm behind my back, was another. being able to turn my hand to the appropriate angle to wash my hair. putting in my contacts. combing my own hair. but the biggest accomplishment of the week was going to the grocery store by myself. there are four major drawbacks to this broken arm - separate from the arm itself... one: it has seriously affected my stamina. two: i have difficulty maintaining thoughts and focusing. three: it has seriously affected my confidence. four: my emotions are heightened. so, i'm exhausted after showering and dressing, which takes almost twice as long as pre-break. it takes longer because i'm not left handed and the mobility of my right is not 100%. it also takes longer because often when i go in search of something in another room i can't remember why when i get there. i feel uncertain, unsteady and unsure everywhere outside the house and sometimes inside the house. and then just for fun i cry at the drop of a hat. i'm amazed by how much one little broken bone can affect an entire body. ohhhh... forgot to mention (or did i in a previous post) i've acquired a long lived fall cold, which is definitely affecting my stamina. not fair to lump all of that on the arm, i suppose. anyway the point being this has been a transition week i think. the bone portion of my arm rarely hurts. the muscles, tested by the physical therapy, aren't very happy, but what are you gonna do? the cold is easing somewhat and everyday there is some new level of mobility that returns. so anyway back to the grocery store... my favorite store is enormous and fully healthy it can wear you out to make it through the hour of walking/shopping, lifting, planning. since the accident i've either not done the shopping or gone with my husband or son. this week i went on my own. i forced myself to do it because i found myself feeling afraid, not just reluctant. i don't want this broken arm to become a negative defining moment in my life, so force myself i did. and it was good. other than lifting the dog food off the shelf into the cart, i managed to get all the goodies into the cart. the best part was i figured out how to successfully maneuver all the items from the cart into the back of the car. woo hoo. i wrapped my left arm around the 32 lb. bag of dog food like i was scooping up a toddler and transferred it to the car like i'd been doing it my whole life. it was a two hands in the air, grinning ear to ear, jumping in the air moment.