Hope on this rainy Monday

I knew it when I typed it. I should have re-thought it then, but I pressed on anyway. I knew when I started "Hope-Filled Mondays" that it was going to be problematic. Not because I would have trouble coming up with topics or anything...

Okay, here's the thing: I don't like repetitive deadline commitments. I don't like saying that because others tend to think I'm saying something about them, when in fact I'm only talking about myself.

Let me clarify, I'm not a commitment-phobe. I'm married, for more than two decades; I'm a mother and for those of you who also are you know what a commitment that is; I'm gainfully employed. So it's not the commitment, it's the deadline that comes again and again. I suppose I am a free spirit and feel much happier when I can do as the spirit moves me. Does this make sense to any of you? I know I'm not the only one. Some people thrive on deadlines and commitments, joining groups, attending meetings, living by scheduled activities. I am profoundly grateful for each and every one of you, because I simply cannot. The big three, as I like to call them, spouse, childen, job are about all the deadlines I can manage without suffocating. I like to wake up and feel like digging in the mud and do it. Or to whip out some fabric or yarn and create something. I like the freedom and the challenge of an unscheduled life.

So, knowing this about myself, why on earth would I think to start a weekly entry? Well, I had an idea about using this blog as a test for future work. But, as I only made it two weeks in a row, then took three weeks to follow up... It speaks for itself.

I can say I've learned some important truths: I do not like the pressure of 'having to'. For me, it sucks the fun out of what I have otherwise enjoyed.

Another important thing I learned is that I really don't like limiting myself to one topic. I found as I was sitting down to write the third blog I felt very resistant to the topic and would start something else, or veer off to something else mid paragraph.

Like the gifts I make, I've learned I like to allow my creative thoughts to develop along the way. As I've said before, I am not a brand. What I create is as unique and varied as the people I give to and the same is true of my writing. I could never be happy producing one thing or designing within a strict framework, which is not to say I detest, dislike or in any way devalue those who do.

The opposite is in fact true. I am very thankful that Levi's are as dependable as the sun and no matter who's wearing them or where you might be, you know them when you see them. I could go on and on, naming brand after brand that I know and trust, often turning to them for my creative pursuits. I think it's amazing to see quilts, photographs, paintings,etc., and be able to know, without a doubt, it's this artist or that. And while I value and admire this in others, I simply cannot emulate it and be happy.

I don't like promising and not delivering, which is why it's taken three weeks to publish this apology/explanation.

So, what does this mean going forward? While the entries will not be regular, living a hope filled life is integral to who I am and they will continue. I believe the world needs us all. If we were all alike, we would drive each other mad or bore each other to death. Variety is life. The older I get, the more I realize that only by being grateful for the amazing and diverse variety in people, places, and things, can we be truly free to be who we want to be. I think there is great hope in recognizing the value of others.

I hope this Monday finds you hopeful!

PS - no picture with this post as we have a new tower and I've yet to figure out how to successfully network Vista with Windows 7.

God dwells within you, as you.

Though not the original source of this thought, the quote has gained some renown from the book and movie Eat Pray Love.

I find this simple sentence as hopeful as any I've ever heard. Simple, yet terribly complex. The idea of God is, I think, beyond complete comprehension. The sheer number of books, movies, documentaries, theologians, spiritualists, religions, etc., attest to this as well.

If God were simple, then we'd all have the same beliefs, wouldn't we?

God dwells within you, as you. What a relief that is. I no longer have to try to be someone else, to emulate someone else's journey. Nor do I need to apologize for being more or less that someone else. I still firmly believe that God wants us to be the best we can be, to contribute to the world, to treat each other with respect and to treat ourselves with respect. I just no longer think there is only one way, one path to achieve our best.

The definition of what is best is as unique and varying as the people who contemplate it. I also think that what is right for you now may or may not be right for you a decade later. As we change and grow and see what this wide world has to offer, our desires, hopes, and dreams change. Some things may remain the same for a lifetime, while others differ day to day. I feel as though there are no wrong choices, there are only choices, each with varying degrees of 'rightness'.

What I do know, with certainty is that you and I know when the choice is not right for us; we feel it, we hear the proverbial 'little voice'. Sometimes, that voice is so faint we mistake it for something else, but I believe that voice is God. So, God dwelling within us, guides us to the choices that are right-est for us at the moment we have a decision to make.

If we were talking about shirts, nearly everyone would be able to relate and to agree with this idea. No shirt is right for every single person. What if you don't like pink and pink is my absolute favorite color? Yes! We all get that.

But the minute we begin discussing God, religion, belief, spirituality... well, let's just say that it's more difficult to find consensus. Luckily, I'm not interested in finding consensus. I've discovered the joy in letting each person be who they need to be.

I believe that God is dwelling within me, as me. I also believe that God is dwelling with you, as you. Seeing God in those around me doesn't stop them from shocking, irritating or disgusting me - I am human after all. The person who cut me off, or the one who tells me way too much information, or the one who is insulting on purpose, when I look for God in them it allows me to imagine what might lead a person to make the choices they make. It allows me to more easily release my negative reactions. Understanding is forgiveness.

Anyone who read the post of a few days ago "Making a Pearl" might think I haven't been seeing God in everyone. What can I say? I'm humanly imperfect, but since God chose to dwell in me, there must be a reason and so I keep working on it. These internal conflicts are part of the paradox that is humanity and is what makes us so very interesting.

I hope this Monday finds you hopeful.

The beginning of Hope Filled Mondays

Mondays get a bad rap. The weekend is over, back to work, back to school. As if Monday is an ending to something, when actually Mondays are a beginning. The beginning of the week, sort of a fresh sheet of paper with which to begin writing this week of your life.

I like beginnings - full of hope and promise and excitement. So I'm beginning something new on the beginning of the week, on my fresh sheet.

Hope Filled Mondays! I plan to post each Monday with something that gives me hope. I chose the title Hope Filled because it says how I strive to live my life and how I want this blog to evolve.

I think it's appropriate to begin with a definition of hope, from "The American Heritage Dictionary" published by Houghton Mifflin. I love this dictionary, which seems to weigh 10 pounds, because it gives the fullest definitions and includes famous persons and lots of pictures. I also love the speckled pages.

Anyway, the definition:

Hope is both a verb and a noun and interestingly most of the definitions refer to expectation and/or confidence in the outcome. "To wish for something with expectation of fulfillment." "To look forward to with confidence or expectation."

This is how I feel about hope. Confident and Expectant. Hope is a prayer. Hope is an asking for something and expecting the answer to be yes.

So today is the beginning of our Hope Filled Mondays and I encourage myself and you to look forward with confidence and expectation. Also, take a good look around and see the fulfillment of yesterday's hopes.