Happy Fall!

It's really and truly fall here. The weather is crisp, the leaves are colorful, and I'm so happy about it. I love fall. It's always been my favorite season. Not sure why exactly, but I figure that it is back to school time is part of it. I always loved school, well except for one or two high school years when I simply tolerated most of it. I loved it with my kids and I love it now.

As seen on the Web: OMG!

Funny Story: Last year at this time I felt compelled to buy colored pencils and markers. No idea why, but you know they are like 50 cents, so I threw one of each in my cart at the grocery with a shrug. Later, I was unloading and putting things away and my niece knocks on the door. "Do you have any colored pencils or crayola markers?" she asked after a quick hug. Turns out she needed them for a homework assignment and because I had some, she and her mom didn't have to make the 20 minute (one way) trip to buy some. It was a funny and happy moment for all of us. Life is completely magical like that. I could have easily talked myself out of buying them when the urge pulled me to the supplies.

When we listen to our intuition, life is completely magical. This story reminds me to listen more and doubt less.

Of Human Tornados and Growth

Yesterday was an interesting day. Work was filled with drama and angst and tension, all of which arrived with and stemmed from one single person.

Thankfully, it wasn't me.

It's disconcerting to watch a human tornado in action. Leaving chaos and confusion in it's wake.

For most of the day, I held myself separate. It's a skill I've been practicing for some time. You know the phrase "in this world but not of the world"?  I've been developing the skill of witnessing, without committing emotional energy.

So yesterday, I was in the chaos, but I was not of the chaos. Until the last 30 minutes of the day, when I let myself swirl around in it. And then it affected my evening, as negativity is wont to do.

Because it did, I realize how much work I have to do. At the same moment, I realize how much work I have done. I mean, I was separate for most of the day. Focused on my own goals and accomplishments, I was aware of, but not involved in the tornado. Each time it approached me, I smiled and moved myself out of the path. This is good to recognize. I feel lighter, happier and accomplished realizing it. Yea!

Turns out I don't begrudge having work to do. This is also growth! There have been times when I'd beat myself up for not being more, better, perfect. Those times are past. I no longer expect or want perfection. Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

My goal is to be love. In every situation, every relationship and every interaction, my goal is to express love. Which is not to say that I give up my needs or wants to keep the peace. It is not loving myself to constantly give in or not express my feelings or to take verbal abuse from anyone. What I mean here is that there are ways to say what needs to be said without leaving destruction in your wake and that is my goal. Some days I am really good at it. Some days I recognize situations that trigger negative responses and know I have work to do.

I found this quote from Deepak Chopra. It made me think of the number of times I've said "I didn't have a choice". Kind of a cop out isn't it? I didn't have a choice means, I made a choice I don't think you will like or I made a choice that does not live up to my expectations for myself. So, I'm repeating it to myself each morning. Because I always have a choice, I choose Love.

Love is the answer. 
I choose Love.
Love is all you really need. 
Love. 
Love.
Love. 

The past week and menopause

Okay, Yoga week two. More challenging. Not awful, not super hard, just more challenging. We learned new poses, we spent more time in them, in significantly warmer temperatures and my period started.

Sorry if this bothers anyone, but as this blog is for me and this is something I may need to refer back to, I'm about to document menopause and menstrual cycles. I started perimenopausal symptoms several years ago. You know, hot flashes, disrupted sleep, strange menstrual cycles amongst other really fun symptoms. A friend and I were discussing it, because of course I thought I was too young. No, she says, you aren't. I did more research only to learn perimenopause can last 2-10 years. Oh Joy!

Although my periods have been varied, sometimes long, sometimes short, sometimes, really close together, sometimes very heavy, I never skipped a month, until this year. I had a period in January and February and then nothing. So, I thought Woo! Done with that. Until Saturday. And once it started I've felt drained, exhausted, even. And it's not like it's even worth the effort, so light a period it is.

By the way, when you try to discuss your situation with a doctor, the mood swings, the sweating, oh my lord, the mood swings, the weight gain, the random hairs growing everywhere, the sweating, and any and everything else... Know what you will hear? "It's in the realm of normal". serious eye rolling here! I actually don't think it matters what you tell them. "I'm seeing purple polka dots", "I have hair growing between my toes", "I have a sudden craving for olive ice cream"... you'll get the same response. I haven't tried it, lol, but that would make the appointment way more fun! 

This topic is not discussed enough. I've polled all my friends. No one talks about it. Probably because it's embarrassing. Probably because by the time it happens to your mother you're grown, away at college or living on your own and so you don't see it. IDK. For my mother, her body was forced into early menopause by chemo. It wasn't the same. She had all the signs and symptoms condensed down into a 3 month period. She went from normal to menopausal in the blink of an eye, and really couldn't separate the chemo side effects from the menopausal symptoms, so I really have no reference points, which is why I've quizzed all my friends.

Onto a new topic. I'm so over perimenopausal/menopausal! If you have any insight - - I'd appreciate you sharing. 

I knitted some adorable baby hats this week for our newest grandson. He's a sweet little bundle! I've never knitted a baby hat before. It was a challenge. I followed three different patterns and only 1 turned out a reasonable facsimile of the correct size. And yes, before you ask, I did a swatch test and knew I, as I always do, was knitting larger. Even dropping down a needle size or two, didn't help the end product. ARGH! So, I went with the one pattern that nearly worked, added three extra stitches and ended up with some very adorable hats! Picture to come!

My office at work is at the farthest point from the air conditioner and so I've been told by people who are supposed to know, that it's just 'the way it is' that it's sweltering in there. BOO! Have I mentioned I'm perimenopausal (or possibly menopausal, who knows) and I'm warm all the dang time? Well yesterday was the hottest day of the year, so far, and very sunny. It was a sweat box and I felt myself getting more and more pissed as the day progressed. So yet another call and am now awaiting Frick and Frack (my names for the maintenance team) to come and take another look.

So, the blog views have passed the 5000 mark. What do you think about that? Yea, I don't know what to think, either. It's cool, though. I hope you are enjoying it. I also hope you take the ranting with a grain of salt. Negative-ness is better out than in and this blog is my getting it out place.

We've begun painting the living room. I know. It's a lot of painting. Eh, what can you do? I do like to switch stuff up and my husband is a trooper. I really like saturated color, but have decided to go lighter and brighter in there. The color is called cream in my coffee or something like that and hubby picked it out. It's tough to tell just yet, but I'm leaning toward liking it. :-)

My niece was over this afternoon and ended up playing cards with my son. I was in an adjacent room, working on my jewelry, listening to the two of them. They were completely adorable. Insulting and laughing and sharing secrets. I just love kids. She and her family moved two country doors down two years ago and it's been such a good thing. For all of us. 

And that is the news of the week, I think. Thanks for hanging in there.  I'm planning to take some pictures tomorrow to make the posts prettier. We have some stunning flowers in bloom around the house.

BTW-if that Yoga cat picture from a couple of posts ago, doesn't make you smile... Well I don't know what. Look again. It's funny!

Happy Thursday!

AAAAARRRGGGHHHH

So you know how you have a conversation with a person. A fairly important conversation. One where the other person nods and responds and appears to be listening.... And then some time later, same person claims no knowledge of the thing you talked about. The thing they responded about, nodded their head about.

AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!

Some days I just want to stand on the back porch and scream. Like today. Really loud. And long.

Phew. Okay, I think I'm coming back from the edge. Do you ever think it's someone's mission in life to drive you bonkers? Oh, no? Well.

Anyway, the weather is freaking beautiful today and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Cool and breezy with warm sunshine. It's awesome, I tell you.


Well, that's it for today. I just needed a mental health post and you lucky, lucky people get to read it. Hope your day is filled with more freaking beautiful and less aaaarrrggghhh!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

A little humor on this greenest of holidays!

missing in action and other randomness

Yes, I have been. I am in super create mode, getting ready to put things in a retail shop. I've started a couple of posts, but haven't finished them. I have plans at attempting a mini tutorial, but that takes some doing and right now I'm not set up for it, so I've put those on hold. So basically, this means that I've put in the time, but no posts to show for it. tiny bit aggravating.

Spring forward is kicking my butt. I overslept on Monday, making me very late for work. I worried about that last night, couldn't get to sleep, was late again today! 

I have been doing some research into yeast (long story) and have discovered that the companies that are making the breads, cookies, cakes, etc, are using, on average, triple the amount of leavening agents that a recipe needs. Some of the long story: My husband is a sugar hound. He can sit and eat 20 or 30 of the ever shrinking soft and chewy chocolate chip cookies that come in the red packages. I said to him "When I make cookies you only eat 5 or 6, but the store bought you can eat a bag at a time. There is something that they are adding or doing to the cookies to make them so lightweight and insubstantial." Then, when I started in earnest, making bread for our family - all the loaves I made were dense-very unlike the commercial bread, including the pricey, foo foo brands.

Why and why do I care... Why: Well, I suppose like everything else, they are trying to make the most out of the littlest possible. By increasing the leavening agents, they get bigger, puffier bread, that takes up more volume, but requires less ingredients. It also reduces the 'proofing' time required for things that need a rise. They also use various 'additives' to attain elasticity and uniformity in baking. They also use additives to prolong shelf life.

Why do I care: Those additives are very controversial. Many additives commonly used in the US are banned in other countries for their known harmful effects. BANNED. Seriously. In addition, there is some discussion about the impacts of the significant increase in leavening on the body, some serious discussion. There is also the fact that commercial yeast has been cultured and no one knows how this might affect you and me.

There are chemicals used in food production and products for your hair and skin that are known to be "Hormone Interrupters". While no one (probably) will be affected by the first use, over time, these interrupters have the ability to change the way your body responds. If one of those chemicals is in your shampoo, your conditioner, your body wash, your face lotion, your laundry detergent, your eye shadow, your body powder, your deodorant, your perfume... then every single day you are absorbing that chemical times 9, before you even consider what's in your food.

So, from me to you, spend a little time investigating what's in the products you are using. Decide what is and isn't okay with you. I can't answer that question for you and I won't pretend to have all the answers. I will say this, if a chemical is banned in 65 countries, but not here, I don't want to ingest it or use it on my super absorbent skin!  Here is the other thing I will say about this: When you know better, you do better. It's time for corporate America to do better. If you've ever wondered why the poor are not the healthiest, consider what lousy nutrition is available in the most economical grocery items or chemical laden health and beauty items are the least expensive. 

Hmmm-little bit of a soap box there. But seriously! I was a poor kid. I know what being poor is. I get so tired of talking heads, who've never been anything close to poor, talking about it like they have any idea. If there are three cans of green beans available to you, you will buy the cheapest ones. Were they sprayed with pesticides? Are they seconds? Are they loaded with chemicals to keep them shelf stable for a decade. Are they in a can lined with plastic that is unsafe? YES, YES, YES, YES. IT IS TIME FOR CORPORATE AMERICA TO DO BETTER! It is also time for all of us to do better. If we demand better, corporations will have no choice but to respond. Okay, totally off my box, now.

Did you notice I discovered the "Color my text" feature? I'm sleep deprived and a little loopy right now.

Today, at work, I totally got my unnies in a bunch over an implied slight. You know the kind of thing I'm talking about... someone says something, but not coming right out and stating it, but implying that something you did or didn't do negatively affected the work. They don't say it to you, or mention you directly, or even ask you about it. They say it in your general area, where you cannot possibly not hear what they are saying and you know and they know and everyone knows that you are the only person who could have 'possibly applied that incorrectly'. I really detest that kind of cowardice. Either say it, to me, or better yet, shut your mouth. But just right now, I'm sitting here laughing at myself. As if it materially affects who I am or the work I do. It doesn't. Which after 45 minutes of research, I had definitive proof that it wasn't an error, but that isn't the point. The point is, if you have something to say, say it. If you can't say it to the person, it probably doesn't need said at all. 

St. Patrick's Day is nearing and I thought I'd share a blessing from my house to yours:  "May your thoughts be as glad as the shamrocks. May your heart be as light as a song. May each day bring you bright, happy hours. That stay with you all the year long."

Where does the time go?

Yesterday I was working on items for my business. I had a list of things to accomplish. Not a crazy long list. Just a list. I only accomplished two things. Argh.

Anyway, I think I could work for a week and then I might be ahead. I hope this doesn't sound like complaining, because I am not! I'm thrilled to be busy. I'm thrilled to have a list of things to accomplish.

Once you start being creative, more and more creative ideas flow to you. It's fun and exciting and I'm really, really enjoying it. Hmm...  I suppose I've just answered my own question, haven't I?

Well anyway, today I'm off to work to accomplish more than two things on my list.

“Hide not your talents, they for use were made,

What's a sundial in the shade?” 

― Benjamin Franklin

Happy Christmas Eve

Dare you not to sway and sing along with Annie and Al! from Scrooged!

Odd Items on Pinterest

First let me say this: I love Pinterest.

This also has to be said, some people collect the oddest categories of pins.  Side note, here, but very important: if you think my pins are odd, please don't tell me. In this moment, ignorance is bliss.

Today, I was minding my own business when someone I "follow" started pinning "Christmas Corsages". Is that a thing? I mean it must be because she pinned like a dozen before I could hit the "unfollow" button. No really, is that a thing?!

Okay, it's not my thing and it's never going to be my thing, but I had no idea that was really a thing!  I'm including this picture, which I found on the net, but you will want to search them out. This one is a nice one, vintage and I can actually see someone wearing this on their coat. But some of them... oh my.  I saw one with a tree that was 6 or 8 inches tall!

Has anyone ever seen the David Letterman skit "Is this Anything"? Sometimes I wonder if I'm in such a skit. I'll be David, you be Paul.... Christmas Corsages... Is this something or is it nothing?

The Corn Thief and the Wannabe's

Our property is surrounded by farm land on three sides. This year the farmers planted corn around us. We all love the corn. It noticeably grows every day, the leaves dance in the wind and when it's tall, we have a private oasis. Now it's fall and the corn is ready to harvest. The leaves, as they dry out, rattle together and sound like voices. It's a tiny bit spooky and perfect for this time of year.

Occasionally, the dog will decide a corn stalk is the perfect afternoon snack. She wanders over to the corn, selects a likely stalk and bites down and yanks until she pulls it out of the ground. (I have mentioned her love of eating all things, haven't I? Pine cones, gourds, dried moss... Oh it's a long list) The other day, she had just scored her afternoon snack of corn and took it out beside the pond to enjoy the warm sun, when the chickens spied her. Seeing she was eating they came running and began pecking the stalk to see what Daisy was enjoying.

Daisy leaped up with her stalk firmly clenched between her teeth and took off to find a safe spot, the stalk bouncing along the ground behind her. The chickens were in hot pursuit. No way were they letting that go so easily. Chickens firmly believe if it's good, run away with it. Since Daisy was running, it must be good. She tried a to find a spot to enjoy her corn, but the chickens caught up each time. She finally wised up and just took the ear of corn, leaving the chickens the stalk. So, Daisy left with the good stuff, the chickens pecked the stalk, determining it wasn't all that good and wandered away. Chickens are not all that bright. Daisy enjoyed her corn in peace.

This picture does not do the tale justice. The whole time my husband and I are watching the scene play out, I'm thinking I wish I had my camera, but no such luck. I used by phone to snap as Daisy was just getting ready to bolt with the ear of corn, leaving the stalk for the chickens. It was from a pretty far distance and the details are fuzzy. But, I didn't want to miss the action to try and find my camera. I wonder where that camera is? Hmmm....

Hello World!

It's been a while, eh! Sometimes I crack myself up. I noticed that even in my absence, the blog is getting some traffic. It's both pleasing and puzzling. So I decided to look at the posts visitors are reading and sometimes I crack myself up.

I write just the way I talk. Extra exclamations, run on sentences, odd word choices... It's a hoot. It's a really good day when you learn to laugh at yourself! (Have I ever mentioned that before?) It comes with self-awareness, I think, and man oh man is it a good thing.

So, just in case you've been wondering where I've been... I discovered this really great book and I've been reading it every extra minute. If I"m not reading it, I'm talking about it or thinking about it. All day long. It's that good. More on that in a later post.

Here is one of the many items I just re-read "I'm humanly imperfect..." - LOVE it. I am humanly imperfect and so glad of it.

I hope to see you sooner rather than later. Until then, check out some of the old posts, bet they crack you up, too!

Several things, no connection...

Heart Cloud

It's Friday. This has been a great week - for no particular reason. It's been a lot of little things strung together and I'm very thankful.

Work has been challenging for a while and I've been kind of down about it. This week I may have finally crested the hill. I am actually totally current in one aspect and that hasn't been true in months. CURRENT. Woo.

One day last week, I was talking to my co-worker and I said "Look at the sky the clouds are just beautiful." She came over to the window to look and said "Do you see the heart?" And there it was.  This is the photo I snapped with my phone.  There is the big heart and below to the left is a small heart.  Life is really amazing.


I've been seeing signs of love everywhere, lately.  I took a rubberband off a stack of mail a couple of weeks ago, set it down on my desk and sorted through the pile.  A couple of minutes later I glanced around to find a pen when I noticed the shape the discarded rubberband created. Both of these are unexpected, yet tangible proof that love is all around and we only have to be aware and open to it.

Everything I've pickled so far has turned out amazing. It's such a giant high. Two nights ago we tried the 2nd batch of fermented pickles, the spears. My oldest said, "Did you have any idea when we were stuffing cucumbers into jars that we were making the best tasting pickles in the world?" It really was a laugh out loud moment. He is naturally funny and has this way of phrasing things that really makes me giggle. Anyway... They are delicious. Sour, salty, crunchy, spicy. I may have mentioned the Dilly Beans and Spicy Grape Tomatoes, so I'll skip those. I also made pepper rings. The thing about canning your own peppers is that they are crunchier than anything you might find in a jar from the store. I'm not exactly sure why, but they are not mush and I'm enjoying it immensely. Also, canning your own peppers means they can be as hot as you like them. I put mild banana peppers in with a couple of jalapenos, which give all the peppers heat, but not as hot as just jalapenos. Another reason I think we find the canned items so great is that we are only putting in things we like. When you buy from the store, you have to take the spice combos as they are. But, not if you're canning. If you don't like star anise you leave it out. If you like it dilly, you have three ways to add it. Like garlic, add. Don't like garlic, skip. So, because our canned items are customized to us, they really are "the best ever".

Do you know people who fictionalize their life? I'm not talking about keeping private things private or even mis-remembering the occasional detail. I'm talking about the systematic re-writing of their personal history. It's puzzling to watch. That's really all I have to say about it. It's puzzling.

Yesterday I put a chuck roast in the crock pot on low before I left for work. I added a cup of beef broth, some black pepper, and a sliced onion. Oh, and couple cloves of garlic. I left it on low all day. When I came home, I shredded the beef with two forks and smashed the garlic and mixed it all together with the broth. I made mashed potatoes (peeled, diced, boiled, drained, etc). We had a scoop of mashed potatoes, smothered in the shredded beef and broth, surrounded by buttery peas. (I love peas and mashed potatoes, do you?). What would be really good here is a picture. Dang. Anyway, I promised to share my successful dinners and this is one. It was ready in under 30 minutes and was a hit with all.

Well, after working so hard on this post, I needed a little sustenance, so I had a pickle. Fermented pickles rule!

A family member had a mishap with a riding mower and though fine, was a little banged up. In telling the mower's sibling about the incident, the sibling starts complaining about the mower and the work that will have to be done and what was so and so thinking and isn't this a fine mess. Oh, there was more, but you get the idea. It's the sort of response that makes the sibling look like a GIANT weenie. Rather than identifying and owning true feelings, the sibling was raging about the mower. As if the mower is anything at all to the sibling. But, it was easier and habit to be pissed and pissy about the mower, thus avoiding the fear or worry that your sibling could easily have had a serious accident or worse. So, the lesson in there for all of us, when you catch yourself emulating the GIANT weenie, stop. It's okay to be scared or worried. It's okay to cry. Heck, it's even okay to say nothing.  By witnessing the weenie up close and personal, I get a chance to choose something else. And for that, I'm grateful!

Well, that's about all there is for this Friday. I'm considering dusting off my sewing skills and making something fun. Happy Friday!

It's my birthday!

Today is my 50th birthday!  I feel really good and fine about the number.  We had a party on the weekend to celebrate and my sweet niece asked me if I felt any different.  I immediately said no, but then I thought about it and said "No, I guess I feel like 50 is a kind of accomplishment that I feel really happy about."

Some other things introduced in 1963:

SweeTarts
Computer Mouse
Chips Ahoy
Hang Glider
Push Button Phone
"I Have A Dream" by Martin Luther King, Jr.
Smiley Face
Lava Lamps
"Happiness is a Warm Puppy" Charles M. Schultz
Pop Tarts

Since it's my birthday, I'm asking everyone to do something for me... Please do something kind for someone else today.  Big or small, doesn't matter.  What matters is the love.  Here are some ideas:  Smile at a stranger, help someone in need, give your kids an extra hug, take flowers to a relative, pay for the coffee of the person after you in line.

The stranger you see smiling at you today is me!  I'm celebrating 50 with love so I'm sending love out to everyone today!

“I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don't want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.” ― Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life 

Happy Wednesday!

Not enough time for a real post, but just wanted to add some love to the web!  Found on Pinterest and made me laugh.  Hope you will, too.  Happy Wednesday!